Unwrapped Gift from GOD
A young man was getting ready to graduate from college.
For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat Disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely,leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.
Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?” He stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse,
Matt 7:11, "
And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?"
As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for...
IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT,
IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKED THAT WAY!
ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS;THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO ATTACHMENTS!ALWAYS REMEMBER .....Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
God Always Answer Prayer
If the Lord has you on hold... hold on!
If the Lord has said "NO" to you... thank Him!
If the Lords is molding your heart and mind... go with His change!
If the Lord opens doors that you have asking Him to open... Praise Him!
Be blessed wherever you are in your life today! God has His hands on the situation
You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired" God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able" God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7) You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
相遇不是用來生氣的
前日往回家的公車上，一對上班族男女吸引了我的目光，而他們的一段對話，更讓人難忘，每天搭乘公車上下班，來回通勤時間約莫近二小時 ? 有時人少，可坐在位置上欣賞窗外的風景；人多時，也只能慢慢地擠回家，但這時，身邊乘客的對話總會不時地傳到耳邊。
前日往回家的公車上，轉程靠站時，乘客頓時多了起來。一對上班族男女恰巧在我身邊，吸引了我的目光。可能因為人多，男的不時地將手臂圍住女的，並輕聲的問「累不累？」「待會想吃些什麼？」只見女的不耐煩地回答「我已經夠煩了，吃什麼都還不先決定，每次都要問我。」男的一臉無辜的低下頭，而後說了令我印象深刻的話。「讓妳決定是因為希望能夠陪妳吃妳喜歡的東西，然後看到妳滿足的笑容，把今天工作的不愉快快暫時忘掉。我的能力不足，妳工作上所受的委屈我沒法幫妳，我所能做的也只有這樣。」女的聽了後，滿懷愧疚的說聲對不起。男的這才似乎重燃信心般說「沒關係，只要你開心就好。」而後親吻了女的頭髮。
下車前再回頭看看這對情侶，男的依舊保護著心愛的人。這樣的情景，讓我覺得自己今天同樣在工作上有些許不愉快，如果沒有聽到這一段對話，回家後的我，可能也是一副全世界都對不起我的臭臉面對心愛的人，只在乎自己的委屈，卻忽視對方的感受，不自覺地傷害最親密的人。所以在踏進家門時，我告訴自己，難道我要像公車上那位女孩一樣忍心將自己的不滿委屈帶給身旁的人嗎？不，我想我現在應該做的是別再把工作上的情緒發洩在心愛的人身上，破壞了最親密的關係，並且主動給自己一個微笑。
相遇，不是用來生氣的! 說得真好 ! 當自己快抓不住情緒時,想想這句話 ,應該會讓煩忙的生活,加些微笑的因子吧 !!
有一位金代禪師非常喜愛蘭花，在平日弘法講經，花費了許多的時間栽種蘭花。有一天，他要外出雲遊一段時間，臨行前交待弟子︰要好好照顧寺裡的蘭花。在這段期間，弟子們總是細心照顧蘭花，但有一天在澆水時卻不小心將蘭花架碰倒了，所有的蘭花盆都跌碎了，蘭花散了滿地。弟子們都因此非常恐慌，打算等師父回來後，向師父賠罪領罰。金代禪師回來了，聞知此事，便召集弟子們，不但沒有責怪，反而說道︰「我種蘭花，一來是希望用來供佛; 二來也是為了美化寺廟環境，不是為了生氣而種蘭花的。」金代禪師說得好︰「不是為了生氣而種蘭花的。」而禪師之所以看得開，是因為他雖然喜歡蘭花，但心中卻無蘭花這個罣礙。因此，蘭花的得失，並不影響他心中的喜怒。
同樣地，在日常生活中，我們牽掛得太多，我們太在意得失，所以我們的情緒起伏，我們不快樂。在生氣之際，我們如能多想想︰
「我不是為了生氣而工作的。」
「我不是為了生氣而教書的。」
「我不是為了生氣而交朋友的。」
「我不是為了生氣而作夫妻的。」
「我不是為了生氣而生兒育女的。」
那麼我們會為我們煩惱的心情闢出另一番安詳
所以看完之後… 當你要和朋友..家人吵架時…要記得你們的相遇…不是用來生氣的喔…何況所謂人非聖賢 ...誰能不生氣呢…不過…看了這篇文章以後…下次要生氣時…就別生太久…免得傷心、傷肝、傷腎又傷腸胃…
Love is Patient
St Paul places “love is patient” way ahead of all other virtues like kindness, compassion, courtesy, generosity and humility. Why does St Paul stress that patience is the first and foremost definition of love? Has St Paul got it all wrong? Is love possible without patience? Is patience all that important?
In our fast paced modern life, we have to complete our projects ahead of competitors. We carry this behavior trait back to our family and we are impatient when we do not get our way. We expect our spouse to cater to us immediately after one reminder or two. When we don’t get what we want and at the time desired, we become irritated or angry. But being patient means allowing, accommodating and accepting the other person’s ideas, values, personality and mannerism. So we need to constantly remind ourselves: “Am I loving when I don’t accommodate my spouse’s ways? Do I show love when I don’t accept my spouse’s point of view?” We know for certain that we do not practice love at that particular moment since a loving heart is a patient heart.
Little things inevitably happen in our lives and in our homes. Misunderstanding and conflict come to every home. During such moments, we get angry and sulk. We tend to blame: Why must I suffer the hurt and tantrum? Why should I bear the injury? Why must I endure the accusation? Why should I accept the slight? But, for any family relationship to flourish we need patience to humbly resolve the conflict. And, patience means accepting, bearing, enduring, over-looking, suffering the slights, shortcomings, blame, accusation, tantrums, injuries and hurts, without retaliation. Thus we must regularly ask: “Am I spending time to patiently cultivate the family relationship? Have I been patient to grow our relationship? Do I neglect to improve our relationship because I am impatient?
So how do we cultivate this most vital definition of love by St Paul? In order to be able to develop this loving patience we have to learn to forgive readily and endlessly. As Mother Teresa said, “if we really want to love, we must learn to forgive before anything else.” (One heart full of love, 113) “We must make our homes centers of compassion and forgive endlessly.” (“A Gift for God”, 18) St Paul says, “Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any one of you has a complaint against someone else.”(Colossians 3:13)
The passages below are taken from the book, “Our Lady says: Love People” by Rev. Albert Joseph Mary Shamon.Love Is Patient (1 Corinthians. 13:4) The Greek word Paul uses for patience is makrothumei. This word means patience with people, not patience with circumstances, like sickness, poverty, or death.
Paul was writing to the Corinthians--to people who needed to have patience with other people. Therefore, to his classic description of love, we can add a preposition plus people to each of his 14 descriptive words for love. Thus, love is patient--with people; love is kind--to people; love is not jealous--of people, etc.
Charlie Brown once said: “Mankind I love; people I hate.” But it is people we have to contend with. When people get close together, there is bound to be personality friction, for no two persons are alike. Rub two pieces of wood together, and you will have fire. Put people together under the same roof, in the same office or in the same parish or in the same house, like husband and wife, parents and children, and you will have plenty of fuel for a good fight.
A feuding married couple went to a priest for counseling. The priest sat at his desk, and the couple sat opposite him, and a cat and dog sat placidly by the desk. When the priest had finished his counseling, he concluded with these words: “Joe and Mary, why can’t you get along like this cat and dog?” Joe quipped, “Father, tie them together and see how long they’ll stay that way.”
As cars need a lubricant to keep parts that rub against other parts, like the pistons in the motor, from freezing fast, so people need a lubricant to keep them living smoothly together. That lubricant is the virtue of patience.Our blessed Lord asked us to imitate His patience. “Learn from me,” He said, “for I am gentle and humble of heart” (Matt. 11:29). Our Lord, as far as we know, never had any physical ailments. He did not have to put up with bodily sickness. But He had to put up with people.
People afflict us in two different ways: some afflict us unwittingly, and some afflict us by their behavior. I often think of how hard it must have been for Our Lord to have had only the apostles for companions. He was the Word of God, divine intelligence. They were illiterate fisherman; goodwilled, indeed, but often so obtuse when it came to understanding Him. Right up to the night before He died, He did not seem to get through to them. To Philip He said, “After I have been with you all this time, you still do not know me?” (John 14:9). The same misunderstanding surfaced again after the Last Supper when He was talking to them about their mission, So, with divine patience, Jesus finally says, “Enough” (Luke 22:38). Always, He was so gentle with them, for “love is patient.”
How often we may have thought that the people around us are stupid or do stupid things. Have you ever said, “He or she drives me up a wall!” “He or she means well, but they get on my nerves.” Or you complain, “Why they would make holy Job lose his patience.” You are really losing yours when you so think.
Then there are other people who afflict us just by their behavior. They are arrogant, self-righteous, judgmental, like the Pharisee in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax-collector (Luke 18:9-14). They look down on others, are snobbish, condemn others, spurn them, speak evil against them. That was the way most scribes and Pharisees treated Jesus.
He could have hit back, but He did not. And that is what patience really is.
Patience means accepting, enduring, suffering (that is where the word came from: patiens means “suffering”) the slights, injuries, hurts inflicted by people--suffering them for the love of God.
What makes patience a virtue is its motive: love of God. ‘‘Love is patient,” that is, true Christian patience has to be an _expression of love, of love of God.
A salesman puts up with all kinds of abuse--just to make a sale.
Indians used to endure frightful tortures--just to become “a brave,”
Stoics suppressed their feelings--just to be considered “manly.”
Such endurance may be laudable, but it is not necessarily virtuous.
“Love is patient,” that is, true patience must be an _expression of love, of love of God. It is that motive which makes all endurance a virtue. It is not what we do that counts, but why; not the mountains we move, but the motives that impel us to move them.
True Christian patience puts up with others just as God puts up with us. He lets His sun shine on good and bad alike and His rain fall on the just and the unjust. (Matthew 5:45). With God there is no favoritism (Romans 2:11).
Christian love must be like that. God loves all and always has their highest good at heart. Our Lady at Medjugorje repeatedly answered, when asked about her love for a particular people or nation, that she is the Mother of all and loves all and wills the salvation of all peoples. Christian patience must be like that--an _expression of a love that is Godlike and Marylike.
We need patience just to survive--for people are people. Some will be inconsiderate, some will be downright mean and selfish. And we shall inevitably run into such people. Their meanness and inconsideration could make us sad, depressed or discouraged. If we let that happen, life for us will come to a standstill. ‘‘Sorrow,” said Paul, “brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Sirach said it does no good to yield to it (30:23). Shakespeare called sorrow the enemy of life.
Patience, on the contrary, does not just endure hurts and injuries; rather it embraces them with love and so sucks out the venom in them. Instead of sorrow, there is joy--joy in knowing that evil has been turned into good.
Without patience we will not survive in life. I remember flying from Chicago to Kansas City one summer. It was the bumpiest ride I ever had. The wings flapped like a seal before breakfast. I thought the plane would fall apart. Later, I learned that elasticity had been built into the wings on purpose. Had the wings been rigid and inflexible, the sudden stresses and strains from wind and air pockets would have snapped them.
On their drawing boards, engineers call this give and take “tolerance.” Tolerance is the amount of stress a wing can take before it snaps.
What engineers build into the cold end of an aluminum wing, we must build into our hearts. How many homes have been broken up, because there is no tolerance---no give or take, no patience.
Aesop has a fable titled, “The Oak and the Reed.” In a mighty storm the proud Oak said, “I will not bend before the wind.” Then a sudden strong gust of wind came and uprooted the unbending Oak. As the Oak lay prostrate on the ground, it saw a tiny reed swaying in the storm. The Oak asked, “How is it that I who am so mighty have been uprooted, whereas you who are so frail still stand in the storm?’’ The Reed answered, ‘‘I give in a little to the wind.” How often just to give in, to say, “I’m sorry,” has saved many a relationship.
Patience is not weakness; it is not becoming a door mat. It is an experience of such great love that it wins over people. No person ever treated Abraham Lincoln with greater contempt than Edwin Stanton. He called Lincoln a “low cunning clown.” He nicknamed him “the original gorilla.” Lincoln said nothing. Instead, when he needed a Secretary of War, Lincoln appointed Stanton, because he was the best man for the job. He treated Stanton with every courtesy.
The years wore on. The night came when Lincoln was assassinated. The body of the murdered President was taken to a little room. That night, Stanton looked down on the face of Lincoln in all its ruggedness; and, through tears, Stanton said: “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.” The patience of love had conquered in the end.
It is only patience that will help people become better than they are and make us better than we are. Like the shaft of water hitting the turbines at Niagara making them move, so love not striking back moves people toward God and toward one another.
I do not want
The bravery of those
Who, gun in hand,
Rush forth to slay their foes.
Not hatred, greed,
Or glory of conquest,
Would I find rooted
In my human breast.
But this, 0 God, I ask:
“Please make me strong
To offer love to those
Who do me wrong.” (5-10)
Too Busy for a friend
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of theother students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a spacebetween each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling.
"Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed inVietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up toher. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes. "Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to aluncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of hispocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times.
The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.
"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiledrather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home. "Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her purse and showed her frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times, " Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved ourlists."
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life willend one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.
So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they arespecial and important. Tell them, before it is too late...
John 3:16
A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner; the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers. He walked up to a policemen and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up aroung the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."
The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16 and they will let you in". So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said, "John 3:16" The lady said, "Come on in, Son" She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16.. I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.
Later she come back and asked him "Are you hungry?" He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food." The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat anymore. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16.. Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.
She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out. The lady come in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested
The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. "Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently. He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it," She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16....don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe
You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
I do Love God. He is my source of existence. He keeps me functioning each and every day.Phil 4:13 If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you, send this on.
If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father." Recommend your friends to visit this blog only if you mean it.
走出被傷害的陰影
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~q~u~e~s~t~i~o~n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~我實在很希望自己能夠饒恕，但是就是做不到。我知道如果我能饒恕那傷害我的人，我就能從那傷害獲得釋放。但我是否要對待那曾傷害我的人，好像我對待我的好朋友一般，才叫做完全的饒恕呢？（我是假設我還能與傷害我的人保持交往而言。）那麼完全的寬恕是否就意味著犯錯的人完全不需承擔後果呢？
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~a~n~s~w~e~r~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~在Kandall的著作《完全饒恕Total Forgiveness》中，作者提到我們應該如何看待那些讓我們身心靈受傷害的人。
寬恕並不意味著不需要對後果負責。在Kandall的書中，有一位婦女願意原諒強姦她的人，但她仍然決定出庭指證他的罪行，是為了不讓他重施故技。這就是一個饒恕的行為，卻不免去法律上所要承擔的後果。書中也有很多其他的例子說明，當人們受到虐待或侵犯後會如何造成關係上的損傷。所以，寬恕並非就免去一切的後果。無論如何，在任何情況下，我們都不應該將自己處於一個不安全的環境或不安全的關係中。
假若一個朋友因為不能守秘，讓你覺得這份友誼已經變質，這種關係上的轉變並不代表你不能原諒這位朋友。你可以不追究他所犯的錯誤，但現在你由於清楚他的性情，從此你對他說話就應該分外小心了。
如果你知道某人是不值得信賴的，那你就必須有實際行動來保護自己不受到傷害。你可以原諒他，但就不要再告訴他任何不欲公開的事。饒恕並非叫你要對待所有人都一視同仁，也不代表錯誤的行為不會帶來任何後果。
如何寬恕人是需要用點智慧。有些傷害是會帶來無法塗抹的傷痕，但倘若傷害你的人已經感到內疚，並且期望你的原諒與和解，或者，你們之間只是發生了誤會而引起受傷的感覺，那麼饒恕就容易多了，不一定會帶來雙方關係受損。
饒恕可以把你從苦毒的黑洞中營救出來。決定要饒恕一個人是很困難的，是要運用智慧，加上恩慈的心，有一個堅定的意志，並明白饒恕對你自己也有好處。你要學習去重新相信這個人，當然你先要決定這人是否值得你再次信任。
饒恕不代表你要完全信任。很多時候縱然是饒恕了一個人，彼此的關係會有某程度的改變，同時帶來一個挑戰，你必須學習更多付出愛心，以及如何適當的處理人際關係。不過最重要的是當你能夠饒恕，你自己就得到真正的釋放了。
你目前的光景如何？你是否正為自己的饒恕掙扎？你實在不需要在這方面太費心，因為可以經由你與主耶穌基督的關係，得到你所追求的。
如果你願意相信主，你現在就可以藉著禱告接受主耶穌作你個人的救主，禱告就是與神說話，其實神早就知道你心中的意念，祂不在乎你用什麼樣的話語與祂說話，最重要的是出於誠心的禱告，以下是一個很簡單的禱告供你參考。
『主耶穌，我願親自認識你。謝謝你為我的罪死在十字架上。我願意打開心門接受耶穌作我的救主和生命的主。求你管理我的一生。謝謝你赦免我的罪並賜給我永生。使我成為你所喜悅的女人。奉主耶穌的名禱告，阿們。』如果這段禱告正好表達了你心中的感受，請你現在就用它來禱告，求主耶穌完全照祂所應許的來住進你的心中，如果你已經做了這個邀請，你要用禱告感謝祂已在你的生命中，並且祂要永遠與你同在(希伯來書十三5)，而你已經得到永生。當你多知道你與神的關係，並且體驗神的愛是何等長闊高深時，你的生命就會更豐盛。
作者：琳奈特•霍伊; 譯者：吳怡靜
～作者琳奈特．霍伊是一位婚姻家庭方面的輔導師，也是演講家和作家，是基督化社區商業女性協會芝加哥會區的主席。
寬恕與自由
某個深夜裡，朋友從電話那頭，含恨對我嚶嚶訴說戀人出軌的不該。也曾從報上聽聞，因對方的負心，捲入另一段畸戀而自譴不已。有的人，則陷在驟失親人的傷心深淵，無法自拔。對於大大小小的人間傷心事，我們不禁問道︰「究竟要怎麼面對呢？」有的人不願別人看出自己的脆弱，默默承受，不願吐露隻字片語，或對著照片獨自流淚，或擁著過去的美好入眠。有的人則處處哭訴，控訴他人的變心，甚至放縱自己，用背叛還以不忠。極端的「忍」，封閉自己，也封閉別人的心，別人自此不敢與你提起過去，一段往事遂成為一段禁忌。極端的「縱」，是掏空自己，別人可能倦於接受你不斷倒出的情緒，若再重蹈錯誤，將種下另一樁新悲劇，不可收拾。極端的忍，冷凍一切，極端的縱，愈縱愈亂。兩者都存在著一股暴力，無情以對地跟自己過不去，兩者有一個共同點︰無法好好繼續生活。
由奇士勞斯基 (Krzysztov Kieslowski) 導的三色系列影片中的「藍色情挑」(Bleu) 中的女主角茱麗 (Julie)，由茱麗葉‧畢諾許(Juliette BINOCHE)飾演，她所遇到的難境，正是人間悲劇。一個多霧的清晨，一輛車急駛在高速公路上，車上除了她之外，還有先生和女兒。也許是打滑，也許是分心，就在車撞上樹的那一剎那，改變了茱麗的命運。這場車禍毀了她的家，頓時，她失去心愛的丈夫與女兒。
隨著片子的進展，方知她先生Patrice 是一個有名的作曲家，並遺下為歐洲聯盟所作尚未完成的歐洲協奏曲。然而，再怎麼有名的妻室又如何？茱麗的椎心之痛，跟任何一個凡夫俗子面對無力挽回的過往的感受，並無二致；她的困境，也是每一個人可能遇到的難關，只是以不同的形式出現。然而，茱麗看待傷痛的方式，超越極端的「忍」與「縱」，但她也遇到新的困境。她以聰慧、有意識地作省思，她的心路歷程會給予同樣身在紅塵中的我們一個較為豐富的思考模式。
茱麗採取的模式，不希望落入過去的陷阱，可能以「捨」來形容。她從不若極端的「忍」，沉浸在往事的深淵，跳脫極端的「縱」，而積極思考接下來過生活的方式。因此，車禍發生後，她不掉一滴淚，不見她前往墓園憑弔，或是賭物思人，也不見她向任何人哭訴。這也是為何奇士勞斯基曾表示︰「最重要的事情都發生在幕後，是你看不見的。」
她可能思考的問題是︰「如果人有記憶，為何沒有忘憶呢？」「怎樣繼續過日子？」「如果要走過傷痛，繼續過日子，是不是忘了傷痛的往事，會比較容易？」對她來說，往事記不如忘，與其回味寧可它枯萎。於是，可從她層層的捨棄，讀出她想遺忘過去的決心。一開始，先是有形的捨棄︰她要家僕將家裡的藍軒 (Chambre Bleue) 的家具擺設，全數清掃。丈夫遺留下來的樂譜，隨手一丟讓垃圾車吃了進去。丟下郊區的大房子，到巴黎市區另租新居。另一層，則是無形的捨棄︰當她踏入藍軒時，卻沒想到還是見著一串藍珠與一席床墊。藍珠的意思文後再談，有關床墊的隱喻是很有意思的。她找了一直很愛慕她的歐立維(Olivier, Benoît Régent飾)，叫了他來，上床。並非她想另結新歡，因為此後茱麗再也沒有主動和他聯絡。除了表示這個床墊此後不屬於丈夫所有，也表示她已將屬於丈夫的貞操，也予以歸還。隨後，她捨了丈夫的姓換回自己的姓，也就不會令人驚訝。此外，她不建立與他人的情誼，住在樓下的Lucille勾引同棟樓各家有婦之夫，某日有位婦人請茱麗在逐離Lucille的聲明書上簽字，被茱麗拒絕了，並非出於同情，而是她不想建立與外界的新關係。在一段與母親的對話中，總結她的所思所想。她說︰「Ce que je veux, c’est rien」「我要的，就是一無所有。我現在沒有房子，沒有歸屬，沒有回憶；依戀、朋友、愛，全是陷阱。」
於是，從街上流浪漢吹笛的揚悠，從陽光照射咖啡杯光影的挪移，我們知道她正過著無拘束的新生活。她，沒有過去的負擔，也沒有任何金錢的壓力，是不是能真的得到自由？她真的能跳脫所有的陷阱嗎？其實，就像她媽媽觀看的電視節目裡的高空彈跳，人們以為拋開一切，事實上卻戰不過地心引力。也許遺忘真的有其可能，過去卻苦苦相尋，如同地心引力那般確定。
最先勾起回憶，是女兒的糖果紙。安東尼 (Antoine) 代表過去的見證者，從十字架的特寫，被塑造猶如上帝之眼，目賭整個車禍的經過，告知茱麗不想回想的過去。如此這般，可以毀、可以不聽，然而回憶的相尋或是聯想，卻無法逃避。新居櫃子裡的一窩剛出生的老鼠窩，象徵母子關係，雖然女兒已過逝，還是讓她急於見安養院中的母親。丈夫寫的樂曲，總在她脆弱的時候相尋，即使不願想起，它就在腦子裡響起…響起…。更甚者，歐立維收藏她丟下的床墊，還想完成他丈夫未竟的樂曲。
這裡談藍軒裡藍珠代表的雙重意義。茱麗唯一從郊區的房子帶出的，就是這串藍珠，此時，傷心欲絕的她，拳狀的手劃過凹凸的矮牆，似乎手痛可帶走些許心傷。這串藍珠，是否代表回憶呢？我想是否定的。在思考未來的種種時，她手中玩弄的，就是幾個淚形透明的藍珠子，此一過程中她賦予了它新的意義，代表她追求自由的決心。這也是為何當她在新居掛上這串藍珠時，只見手傷不見淚滴。然而，在Lucille一次造訪中，這串藍珠卻勾起Lucille早已遺忘的童年記憶，茱麗不由得紅了眼，自己最想遺忘過去，卻意外讓別人想起往事。
「忘了，等於了卻嗎？」即使茱麗試圖阻止過去的延續，做了某種程度的了卻，另一件事的真正沖擊，卻令她無法不正視過去。在一個偶然的機會裡，她知道丈夫生前原來對她不忠，有一個交往多年的情婦。她雖然已重新開始生活，卻再度淪為過去的囚犯。她要如何對一個死去的人生氣呢？這個事實只得逼得她去找那個所謂的情婦問個來龍去脈。茱麗這才明瞭，她丈夫愛這個情婦，因為他贈予了珍愛的項鍊，更甚者，這個情婦肚子裡還懷他的孩子。這位情婦不斷拋出問題，一直追問︰「你會恨我嗎？」「你以後會不會恨我？」
茱麗要如何回應呢？丈夫愛過她，難道我就要恨她？她用行動表達她的原諒。她把郊區的房子交給丈夫的情婦，要肚子裡孩子取爸爸的名字。劇中並沒有提出寬恕的掙扎、考慮或思辨過程，奇士勞斯基擅長表現生命不確定性與神祕性，然而，茱麗原諒情婦不是無端的反應，如車禍那般無常。聰慧的觀眾必可尋到茱麗個性特質的蛛絲馬跡，而她的寬恕的決定是伴隨著面對過去的過程。
茱麗在導演的神祕的安排下，我們無從得知她原來的個性，然而，從一些微小的細節得知她的生命基調。她的雖然個性剛強，天性卻不是一個冷漠的人。在醫院得知丈夫與女兒驟逝的消息後，她並沒有哀嚎痛哭，也沒有乞憫求憐。她一度想輕生，在打破玻璃引開護士之下，偷取安眠藥自殺不果，等護士返回，四目相視，她連說了兩次道歉「Pardon」(抱歉)，等護士說沒有關係，她才安心。茱麗沒有自絕於自身的悲傷，而處處合理化自己任性的行為，即使受到重大創傷，卻還能夠關照別人的感受。
另一個場景是在剛住進巴黎新居後不久，一朝正在處理盆栽，枝葉都已攀爬固定在牆上，手中捧著的，正是枝葉下埋根的小花盆，此時忽有人急急按鈴，她一慌，整個花盆泥土應聲而下，徒留裸露的數枝殘根。她並沒有馬上丟下去回門，而是仔仔細細端詳手上的樹根，彷彿想看它們受傷了沒有。
她用貓逐了惱人的老鼠窩，終止另一個生命的母子關係，不忍回去整理，她關心街旁的流浪漢是否生病等等，從對人、對動物、對植物，茱麗表現了對生命的觀照，足見她是個真性情的人。從以上的種種，印證情婦對茱麗說︰「他 (茱利的丈夫) 說你是很好的人，很好，而且很慷慨。大家都可以依靠你，甚至連我…」。
歐立維象徵要延續過去的意志[2]，茱麗本來反對歐立維要完成樂曲的決定，但漸漸感應到歐立維堅持獨立繼續完成作品的強烈決心。在試圖明瞭丈夫出軌事實的同時，她也漸漸轉變態度，開始和歐立維討論未完成的協奏曲。
***************************************為何要原諒別人的錯誤？原諒別人是懦弱的行為嗎？事實上，原諒別人比報復、冷戰更高一籌，下列這段文字，對茱麗寬恕人的緣由，作了最佳的註解︰「寬恕難以推理得之。寬恕取決於心態與決定，與人的感性、不自覺的一面，密切相關。因此，寬恕具有『無法補捉』的特質。人一旦被冒犯，最直覺的反應就是找機會報復，有時出於愛，或靈魂的崇高，被冒犯的人有可能選擇寬恕。」
當茱麗以為捨下一切時，她總會怕，也沒有快樂。面對過去，她才能去愛，才有片尾和諧的繾綣。最後，茱麗想著朋友的未來，全然的釋放與希望，在不期然的淚裡。
極端的「忍」與「縱」，容易陷入一個迷思︰認為好好過日，那麼過去的曾經又代表了什麼？因而無法好好繼續生活。以茱麗為例，茱麗的「捨下」的模式，雖然勇於重新開始過日子，解決面對未來的問題，卻發現仍然面臨無法擺脫過去困境。因此，這裡明顯涉及一個如何給予過去一個意義的問題。
奇士勞斯基以悲觀性與相對性的手法，呈現人們無法走出自由陷阱的困境。他認為人們追求自由，例如喜愛買新的東西，卻常被新買的東西所困，抽象的概念如愛情、友情亦然。另一方面，雖然片中有宿命的情調，卻不是任憑擺佈，而告訴我們面對過去的必要性。茱麗在面對過去真相時，要決定是否原諒那位情婦，在繼續完成樂章的音樂聲中，自己人生的樂曲才得以繼續，不再是有如片中時間忽然靜止的淡出。
也許你不願別人進入你的心扉，不願給別人可以輕敲心門的允諾，或不願心門打開後，大費周章地強顏歡笑。何妨留一道窗口，讓你可以望見外界心急如焚的行人，戀愛少女酣醉的臉龐，日益翠綠的青山，或是出海迎浪的舟子。面對過去，並不意味一定要原諒別人的錯誤，可能不需要逼自己馬上作決定。時間是一個魔術師。時間絕不能如常人所說沖淡一切或是止傷療痛，然而，它卻可以給自己變得強壯的可能，讓我們沉澱、詮釋過往的種種，從而凝結出新的力量。詮釋是面對過去的一把鑰匙，詮釋過去有助於面對未來。
No Pain No Gain
You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner; the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers. He walked up to a policemen and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up aroung the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."
Later she come back and asked him "Are you hungry?" He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food." The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat anymore. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16.. Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.
The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. "Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently. He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it," She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16....don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe
I do Love God. He is my source of existence. He keeps me functioning each and every day.Phil 4:13 If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you, send this on. 
